Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A Quick Outro...

So today is the day. Two years down the road and I am done with my masters, done with my work here at USC and onto whatever may be next. I will be hit and miss with the Internet over the next couple/few weeks. Thanks to you (my friends) who manage to always keep me going and show me unconditional love, support and patience through good times and the bad times. So in the mean time I will leave with a quote that I think is appropriate.

Is that the mind's last soundless, dying cry? Who will remember? There was not rustling of the old crowds as my long wrenching voyage came ended. Only one question. Who will remember? Then I saw a sign saying, as if about the past, NO VACANCY. FILES CLOSED. And it was time to start uphill toward another morning and toward another home.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Piggy Backers

I have noticed a new class of people - piggy backers. Piggy backers are people who feel the need to piggy back off your story or your conversation and make it about them. I didn't notice these people until someone pointed them out to me at work. I noticed there were certain people who always got under my skin but I couldn't put my finger on it. They weren;t dumb, or mean or rude. But there was something about them. Then my co-worker explained that piggy-backers are folks who need to somehow relate your story to something similar they have experienced. Example:
"Oh my God I drank waaaay to much on Saturday and felt awful the next morning."
"I know me too! I totally got wasted but I ate some food before I went to bed and felt a little bit better."
or:
"I went shopping for shoes this weekend"
"I went to the outlets in Camarillo and found these fabulous shoes that I can use for work or when I go out. They also match this purse I found!"

Now here is the tricky thing with these folks, and piggy backing in general. Piggy backing off of someone else' story it normal. We all do it. It makes for good conversation. BUT NOT IF YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME. At that point it just sounds like you are always try to trump the last persons story or make the conversation about you. Inevitable everyone will start thinking you are an a-hole. Please stop it folks. Piggy backing - like most things - is only good in small doses.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

How People Describe You


I have said this for a while but you can really tell a lot about a person by the way others describe them. That is if your willing to read between the lines. I believe that if someone describes a person by saying they are who they are - then that person is more than likely an asshole.

Here is an example of what that might sound like, "Jim is a great guy. Salt of the earth. He would give someone the shirt off of his back. Susy? She is a really sweet girl great sense of humor and sharp as a tack. Frankie? Well, Frankie is Frankie." That should set off an alarm for anybody. The translation is, "Frankie is a jerk and nobody likes him." Can you think of anybody who is described using their name that people like? The answer is no.

It's basically the equivalent of somebody using Thumper's "if you dont have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" advice. We re trying to be polite about the fact that this person is annoying but we aren't exactly hiding it either. So the moral of the story is a) don't be that person and b) if you her someone describes that way run in the opposite direction.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Lakers and Iran

The Lakers win the NBA title and the next day the stock market drops over 180 points. I think its safe to say the Lakers are bad for America and their fans are communists.

Laker fans also decided to riot downtown in the newly revitalized downtown. As a parent might say, "this is why we can't have nice things." Investors spend hundreds of millions to build a new and vibrant downtown and a handful of dummies manage to light tress on fire, turn over cars and vandalize public and private property. Well done Laker fans you have now joined soccer fans and 1980's Detroit Piston fans as idiots who are unable to deal with success.
To make matters worse for Laker fans their behavior looks even more childish when you compare it to the behavior of millions of Iranians. Here are millions of people who have felt cheated and felt that their democratic system (which wasn't really that democratic to begin with to be honest) was being subverted. How do they react? With protest that are noble and uplifting in the face of tyranny and repression. Thumbs up to the millions of Iranian protesters and thumbs down to the hundreds of dumb-ass Laker fans who don't know how the hell to celebrate with any sort of class.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I don't hate anybody (nor should you)...

Well, I was wondering whether or not to respond to the two folks who commented on the last blog. After deliberating for a while I have decided to do so. Here is why: My intention with this whole blog is to be an over the top and a parody of the "angry" person I sometimes pretend to be around friends and family. And if someone else happens to find it funny great. And if someone who doesn't know me enjoys my commentary or insights into politics or sports - even better.

Thats why I have decided to say I am sorry to the two folks who posted on the last blog because I am not trying to piss people off and leave them in a bad mood. That being said I will try to tone down some of the absurdity in my "rants." Hopefully after this little explanation/apology will make you two feel a little better. To quote the legendary Don Rickels, "I'm a nice guy."

p.s. two other things:
1. I am employed - but looking for another gig.
2. How in the hell are you people even finding this blog? I have had people from Europe comment on some of this stuff and I have no idea how you people are finding this!

now back to rooting for the Orlando Magic...

I Hate This Person...

The following is from an L.A. Times article written today about the digital television transition happening tomorrow. I almost had an aneurism when I read the section below:

Devon Dunlap, 24, of Studio City works in the television industry but hadn't realized that the transition was coming until she saw a public service announcement during the Los Angeles Lakers NBA finals game Tuesday night.

"I'm not actually a big television watcher," said Dunlap, who works in postproduction on reality TV shows.


Devon Dunlap, 24, of Studio City: DIE! Seriously. Go run into traffic and kill yourself. You work in "television" (i put that in quotes because she works in reality T.V. which is barely television and hardly entertainment) and you didn't know T.V. were going digital this week? How f'ing stupid are you? Don't even get me started on how you are a cancer on society for working on reality t.v. shows and I don't care that you aren't "a big T.V. watcher." This has been in the f'ing news for the last year and has been advertised for the last year - at least! In a years time you mean to tell me you haven't seen one single channel of this b.s. Its not like there has been a lack of public service announcements. I am surprised the govt. hasn't just resorted to carving the date onto our freaking faces. Because based on the number of people like Devon Dunlap, 24, of Studio City, It would honestly be less painful and more effective than all these damn commercials.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I WILL SUE THE PANTS OFF OF YOU...

Do you know who John Lee Riches is? Well, according to the Guinness book of World Records he is the most litigious man in the world. In other, words he loves to sue people. Don;t believe me. This is how he responded to the news that he would be honored by Guinness as the most litigious person in the world. He sued them! He said that he is turning down the award because he faces "iminent (sic) danger and bodily harm from the Defendant's (sic) who plan to publish me and about my life in their books without my authorization or consent." Are you kidding me, a guy who has been convicted of wire fraud thinks that being named the most litigious man is going to hurt his rep?
Who has this guy sued:
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichik
Britney Spears
Michael Vick
George W. Bush
Martha Stewart
Plato
Nostradamus
The Eiffel Tower
Holy Grail
Pluto (the planet) and
Somali Pirates

He claims that he has sued only 4000 people, not 5500 as reported by Guinness. I dont know what to say about this guy so I just leave it at that.

also one quick thing. People please stop saying "I could care less." The right phrase in "I couldn't care less."

Saturday, June 6, 2009

I Wouldn't Call It a Great Week...



So this week has been more or less a disappointment. Lets rund down some of this weeks more significant annoyances:
Lakers won game 1 of the NBA Finals. Can Kobe ever get that puss off his face. OK, we get it you're 'intense', you 'want it bad'. Can you smile fucking once - you are up 20 points in the second half you know. No wonder nobody outside of LA roots for this guy. He is a big phony and to make matters worse he plays the game with zero joy!
Got turned down from another job. Well, I wont be headedto San Luis Obispo. I got turned down yesterday. This more than likely means that I am going to have to move in with family before I find a job at another school or at least until i get a gig as a sign holder.
Mosquitos are eating me alive. For the last three weeks I am covered in mosquito bites in the morning. I finally bought some candles that are supposed to drive them out. I don't know if it worked but there were no new bites to report and i killed two mosquitos this morning that were hanging around my hamper.

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO:
The Hangover with Amber Saturday
Dodger game with Indi on Wednesday
Maybe hearing back from a school who wants to hire/interview me
I got some pretty good blog entries coming up. I think y'all will enjoy them.
My TV finally going f'ing digital on Friday. And no i don't care that millions of people still aren't ready for the transition. As far as I am concerned these are people who have proven themselves to be so stupid that we need to prevent them from breeding.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009