You Know You've Made It...

How do you measure success? Success is a difficult thing to describe. Typically because success is mostly about the way other people see us. Even the way we personally define success is often based on what others values or find important. So with that in mind I have tried to create some standards that define success:

1. You have an island in your kitchen. Nothing says "you've made it" like having an island in your kitchen. An island says "hey my kitchen is so freaking big that i have a part of it that is name after a mass of land."

2. High tech garbage cans. If you have one of those trash cans that pop out of your island or counter top - you are a success. You are a super duper success if you have one of those motion sensor trash cans in your place. Motion sensor trash cans are a great way of letting others know that even your garbage is better than their garbage.

3. When you have enough money to work around a phobia you have. Most people who have a fear dont have the time, money or energy to work their way around it. Most folks become slaves to their fears. But successful people can go to great lengths to overcome the obstacles places in front of them. John Madden may best known as the name behind one of the biggest video games in history, or as a hall of fame football coach. But he is a celebrity in my eyes because he was so successful that people simply accepted that he wouldn't fly on airplanes. The man was a successful coach and Super Bowl champion and no one seemed to care that he refused to fly. Instead he just rode a bus everywhere and when he was tired of taking a bus to coach his games he just quit. And no one said a word!!! Flash forward to his broadcast career where he STILL refused to fly and instead rode a tricked out bus/mobile home around for the past 25 years. When you have a strange fear that causes you to dramatically alter the way you live your life and no one seems to care or notice - you sir or madam are a success. That or your sooooo bat shit crazy that no one has the guts to tell you how nuts you are.

Well there you have it. If you have any other sure fire signs that someone has "made it" please feel free to leave a comment. Next post: Why the move BIG is so great (no, I am not kidding).

Modest Mouse...

I know I have said this before - but Modest Mouse has the best album titles I have ever freaking heard. Don;t believe me:

We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank

Good News for People Who Love Bad News

This is A Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About

Building Nothing Out of Something

The Lonesome Crowded West

and finally there newest E.P: No Ones First, and Your Next (how great is that).

and the song lyrics are just as creepy, weird, clever and fun. The title of this blog is actually a rip off of one of those lyrics.

I hope that next week I can post some more sketches and entries.

This is What I Do During Meetings...

Its not that I am not paying attention during meetings. Its just that I like to doodle. Otherwise I really space out and can't focus. From left to right: row 1 (some "punk rockers" singing the Clash, door decs that I worked on, Row 2: more door decs, Row 3: A hand and a guy scream, Spiderman). Expect more posts like this throughout the year!

I Fear For Our Children and the Future of Music...

Where is music headed? What kind of path are our children being led down?

I ask this because over the last three years I have heard some very disturbing things from 19-21 year olds. During the Grammy's last year a group of students I lived with didnt know who the Four Tops were. This wouldn't have been so bad - but the Four Tops where on stage singing their hits and none of them recognized them. These same students then got all frenzied when Taylor Swift hit the stage. I was confused.

Then at a meeting I got blank stares from young students who didnt know who Peter Gabriel was. Then I started playing "Sledgehammer", "Solsbury Hill" and "In Your Eyes." They still had no fucking idea who he was!

Flash forward a month. I am driving a student and the opening notes to Roxanne by the Police comes on. When Stings voice comes in she said, "Oh I thought it was a different song." She though it was a song by Cam'ron. Then I said "oh yea he sampled it. But you know this song though right?" She just looked at me and said "no." I almost crashed my car. How could you have NEVER heard Roxanne??? You are 22 years old!!! Did she even know who the Police were? I decided not to ask less my head explode.

And it has continued. This past week I caught Dream On by Aerosmith on the radio. My R.A. in the back got disappointed when he found out it wasn't Eminem. I asked him if he ever heard the original. Again, another negative response. Worst of all the kid was a flatbiller (dont even get me started on that again...)

Here is what confuses me: If I were 18,19, 20 and hear a song with a sample and I liked it wouldn't I be interested enough to fucking try to track down the original?

Another thing. Are kids not even curious about music made before they were born? I remember growing up and listening to oldies and classic rock. You know who I should blame - PARENTS!!! You are responsible for shaping the musical taste of your kids but too many parents are trying to be hipsters and cool. My father was an awful parent but atleast he introduced me to great music like Bob Marley, Sade, The Doors, Pink Floyd, Santana and a whole bunch of other crap. We weren't listening to awful cookie cutter pop. We were listening to everything. Oldies, Motown, Classic Rock... We were listening to actual f'ing musicians.

Speaking of which how in the hell did Autotune become so popular? It sounds like the computer voice on my Mac is singing or rapping at me. Thank God Jay-Z atleast spoke out against it. Maybe all the sheep/rappers will stop using it now that there hero has called them out.

Which brings me to my next complaint: When did hip hop officially die?

I find it super hard to find a hip hop song to get excited about. Why? Because all of them are now so damn superficial and cookie cutter: Here, I am going to write a hip-hop song:

I am a bad ass

I am going to the club in my fly car

I am popping champagne bottles in the VIP and making it rain.

I see girl who is checking me out

She is going to come home with me and I am going to fuck her.

DONE!

Seriously is that not the general outline of a hip-hop song nowadays? Oh I forgot, to mention that I am number one, rule the game and I will fuck up anybody who tries to compete with me - now I am done writing a rap song. Here is the thing, hip hop artist can write that song but when its the ONLY song they write its fucking played out! Tupac had I Get Around and All Eyes On Me but he also had songs like Brenda's Got a Baby and Keep Your Head Up.

Anyway, Maybe I am just getting older and cranky (which I am totally find with) but I stand firm in my belief that todays music is (largely) GARBAGE.

RunPee.com

Have you ever sat in a movie needing to pee but were afraid that if you left you would miss a big part of the movie? Well there is a new website, and iPhone/iPod Touch app, that can help you. RunPee.com shows you different points during the movie where you can safely "run and go pee". If you have the app you can set a timer that will buzz you to remind you that your moment has come. Plus while you are in the bathroom you can read a synopsis of what your missing in the theater. Pretty sweet.

A Quick New Post...

Things that are annoying:

People who announce: “This is really cool,” before spending the next right minutes explaining something that is the opposite of cool (like research, surveys, the planet pluto, obscure references to television shows that no one watches...).

I like when people with opposite opinions get involved in a pissing contest. They just go back and forth trying to convince each other of their intelligence and how their position is right. Meanwhile the rest of us in the room want to shoot ourselves. A huge waste of time.

Also so looking forward to next Saturday at 5pm. USC v Ohio State. If SC can pass for over 225 yards, rush for over 270 yards and keep the turnovers to two and under they should win the game.