Calories in Water!!!???

Ok, so I just saw a commercial by Propel (which is made by Gatordae by the way) which touts that their "water" only has 25 calories. As opposed to Vitamin "Water" which has 150 - 200 calories.

Ok, seriously folks, last time I freakin' checked WATER DOESNT HAVE ANY CALORIES!!! if you are trying to sell me water that contains caloric content - guess what? YOU ARENT SELLING ME WATER. This is the only country on earth that can somehow manage to ruin water. Water used to be free. You could get it from a graden hose. Even if you were locked out of your house you could still have a drink of water. Now water is bottled and costs a 1.50 for 20 oz. AND NOW PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO CONVINVE ME THAT THERE IS WATER THAT CONTAINS CALORIES. ridiculous. Stop calling this stuff water.

This reminds me of soy milk. It's not milk. If it doesnt come from a cows tit then it's not milk!!! If you are lactose intolerant and you are drinking soy "milk" guess what? You aren't drinking milk. You are still freaking lactose intolerant and you still cant drink milk. You are drinking some crazy concoction that comes from a bean. Stop putting soy milk next to the milk that comes from cows it causing my milk to have a goddamn identity crisis. Cut it out people. Stop inventing crazy things and saying they are something their not.