I Travel Where the Terrorist Don't

I have made my summer travel arrangements! I will be headed to Toledo, Ohio and Raleigh, North Carolina. It may not sound like the most fun destinations when you compare it places like Chicago, Miami, New York, Boston, but it's got fun people that I care about and that's all that matters.
Here is the other upside. I am confident that my plane will not have terrorists on it. I feel a 100 percent confident that no terrorist has ever though/said: 'we need to hijack a plane. I know, let's hijack the one going to Toledo, Ohio.' My vacation destinations totally fly under the terrorists' radar. No pun intended. I don't think there are going to be any attacks on North Carolina anytime soon. By the way, if the terrorists really wanted to go after the infidels why wouldn't they attack the midwest and south. The south is populated by white, conservative christians and yet no attacks from muslim extremists. Instead they are constantly attacking large metropolitan areas filled with muslims, liberals, people of color, so on and so forth.

Anyway, good people, good times and no terrorists plots. Three ingredients for a perfect vacation. Well, that and these two characters: