Traveling

People who bug me at the airport:

The wife or girlfriend who badger their male counterpart.

Sorry if this sounds sexist but it happens every time I go to the airport. Especially earlier in the day. There is always some poor schlub dragging the weight of both his carry on and a clearly failing marriage behind him. Everything he does is wrong. From the security line he picks to how many bins he picks or how he orders food from the fast food restaurant. I always feel sympathy for "badgered husband at the airport guy". He just looks miserable. If a terrorist doesn't try to take the plane down, this guy will.

The old person holding everybody the fuck up! I said it before and I'll say it again, when I'm in charge we are building seperate airports for people with children under 6 and the elderly. What bugs me so much about old people though is that every possible accommodation is made to them so they don't slow the rest of us down! They are given cards so they don't have to take off their shoes or belts. And they still can't get through security without causing a traffics jam.
"I have to take my change out of my pockets?"
Yeah gramps you do! You were fucking around when the Wright Brothers first got off the ground how do you not know what's gonna set off the metal detector.
It's bad enough I'm traveling by myself and seeing your wrinkled face reminds me of the sad lonely death that awaits me someday but can you please just do me a favor and not slow me down at the airport. Please.