New Beginnings

Tomorrow will be the first time in 3 years that I will not be welcoming a new class of students to Sixth College at UC San Diego. I miss my friends, my co-workers and my students. But change is a part of life and I know that the students of Sixth College have an amazing group of people who will be there to help them, support them, teach them, help them grow and help them build long lasting and meaningful relationships.

For the RA staff that will welcome folks into Camp Snoopy and the Sixth College Apartments, I just want to say I miss y'all. But below is a reminder that this new year brings new opportunities. Opportunities for greatness that you all will seize. You all have so much potential and greatness inside of all of you and more importantly you all have the tools and personality to be an outstanding TEAM. Don't forget that. Below is the message I left you all with last May. I still mean every word.

Willing of the Halls is a very important ritual at Sixth because it recognizes the contributions of the past while also celebrating the potential of the future. It’s the passing of the torch from one person to another. It’s not just about passing on a building or some gifts, it’s about welcoming people into a Sixth College Res Life family and passing on the responsibility and the mantle of representing that family. 

Once your part of this family your part of it forever. Wether you know it or not the contributions of the hundred or so RAs who have been part of Sixth Res Life are in this room with us right now. At Sixth we don’t fear change because no one individual’s presence or effort is more important than the next. We value each other individually but we understand that only together can we serve something bigger than ourselves.

With that being said I want to announce that next year I will not be returning as an Assistant Resident Dean for Sixth College. I’ll be taking the position of Assistant Director of New Student Orientation and Family Programs at Rutgers University in New Jersey.

Some of you might be wondering what this exactly means or who will be replacing me. We don’t know that yet. But what I do know is that Marciano and Tony will do there best to find someone who values the things that make Sixth College great and will be a boss that you can count on to work hard for you and your students.

On a personal note I want to say that this change, while exciting, also makes me sad because I’ve grown attached to many of you who are returning and many of you who are joining our family next year. For those of you who I haven’t been as close to I am bummed out because I won’t be able to better know you and watch you reach your full potential. 

But like I said before, just because I am leaving doesn’t mean I still don’t belong to this family. I will still be a call, email or Facebook message away and I care enough about you all and this place that I’ll always be there for you. Don’t think of it as losing an ARD, think of it as gaining another one (probably a better one).

Lastly, I want to say something to all of you, but especially to those of you who know me well. Make me proud. Work hard. Celebrate change and don’t fear it or bemoan it. Remember that you always represent something bigger than yourself and that you can’t accomplish anything without the help and support of each other. All of life and it’s history has brought you to this moment. Wether you think it’s fate or just random occurrences think about all the things that had to happen to bring you together into this room. So enjoy it, value it, and take care of each other. 

The Hateable Dwight Howard

Dear Dwight Howard,

Shut up. Seriously. Please shut up. I am tired of hearing from, and about you. And I think I can say that most basketball fans feel them same way to. The big headline coming from Dwight’s sit down interview with ESPN’s Ric Bucher is that Dwight never wanted anyone to hate him. Really, Dwight? Well, you have a funny way of getting people not to hate you.

If you really look at his behavior over the last three years Howard has acted like an insane girlfriend that someone tolerates because they are hot.

First he declared that he wanted to create his own legacy, not follow in other people’s footsteps. An apparent reaction to people claiming that Howard would leave the Orlando Magic for the Los Angeles Lakers just as Shaquille O’Neal once had. He also didn’t want to be compared to the all time great Lakers’ center (George Mikan, Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Shaq)

He then said he wanted to stay in Orlando.

Then he said he wanted to be traded.

Then he said he wanted to stay in Orlando.

People then wonder if Howard will ask Orlando to sign and trade him allowing him to make the maximum amount of money he can make on a new contract before the league's new collective bargaining agreement takes place. A sign and trade, for point of reference, is a loophole in the league's collective bargaining agreement. It incentivizes a player to sign with their current team, who can offer the player more money than another team, but then the team, as part of a mutual agreement will then trade the player to another team who will then inherit the player and their new contract. If Howard failed to sign a new contract with Orlando before it takes place he leaves money on the table. Guess, who failed get a new deal done.

Then he formally demanded a trade, but was only willing to go to one team, the New Jersey Nets.

When the trade couldn’t get done everyone expects Howard, who is unhappy with his General Manager, coach and just demanded a trade, to play out the rest of the season, go into free agency and play for a new team - more than likely the Nets. Instead, Howard inexplicably opts in to his one year extension to stay with the Orlando Magic for the 2012-2013 season. What? Mixed signals much?

Shortly after opting in to his one year extension he goes into ‘I hate it here in Orlando’ mode again and demands that his coach be fired. This leads to one of the great awkward interviews of all time.


Then after the 2011-2012 season ends he demands to be traded again. Again, saying he will only go to the Nets.

And finally, Dwight ‘Don’t compare me to Shaq, I want my own legacy’ Howard agrees to go to the Los Angeles Lakers. That’s right the same team he said he had no interest in going to from the beginning.

Oh and did we forget to mention that Mr. Howard won’t even be ready for the beginning of the season since he is coming off back surgery.

I mean can anyone look at his behavior and say, ‘oh yeah. that’s normal.' The guy acted like a schizophrenic through this entire process. If you don’t want people to hate you then don’t jerk them around. I know some people will say that Dwight was just ‘too nice and he didn’t stand up for himself and what he wanted. He wanted to make Orlando fans happy and that is why he sent mixed signals’. Well, I guess you can make that argument, but it would then be hard to explain that he is no longer in Orlando AND he managed to get his coach and GM fired (oh yea, that happened too). Oh and let’s not forget, he isn’t signed beyond this year so we may have to go through this type of circus again this coming summer. So Dwight, just shut up and play ball. After all, actions speak louder than words right.

Why I Love The Movie BIG

For those of you who are not aware of the 1988 classic BIG let me let you in on a little secret. It is the best and most realistic movie about a 13 year old boy who becomes a 30 year old man overnight after making a wish at a carnival arcade game. Talk about a niche genre.

But seriously in an age of horrible age reversal films (I am looking at you Zack Efron and Chandler from Friends) BIG stands as a testament that these films can be well done. BIG stars Tom Hanks as the adult version of the 13 year old Josh, who becomes a 'big' overnight after making a wish.

From the get go the movie is great because it isn't goofy, zany or too on the nose. When Josh tries to explain to his mother what happens she freaks out thinking that she is being robbed and assumes later that the man who was robbing her has kidnapped her son. Most movies nowadays wouldn't be able to pull this off. The scene would be corny, slap stick, or full of cheap laughs. But in BIG this is actually a pretty intense and sad scene/thread that runs throughout the films. The phone call that the adult Josh makes to his mom later on in the movie is gut wrenching.

Second, their isn't any heavy handed lesson to be learned. The entire tension revolves around Hank's character trying to survive in the adult world and hold on to his childhood self long enough until he can find the arcade game and wish himself back into his childhood.

Lastly, in other movies kids who become adults somehow find a crappy way to become successful teachers, lawyers, fashion designers and so on. In BIG Josh finds success doing something that a 13 year old might actually be good at: making and testing toys.

Plus its got one of the most iconic scenes of all time:

If you have never seen BIG before do yourself a favor and see it as soon as possible.

Go Ahead, Judge. It Might Be The Best Thing You Can Do.

Judge (verb) : to form a judgment  or opinion of; decide upon critically: You can't judge a book by its cover.

A little over three years ago I met a man from Gary, Indiana. He was my boss. Short on stature but big on laughter. In the early days of getting to know him I was struck by a running theme/joke between him and others. Whenever someone made a comment that had even a hint of opinion he would say, “I hear some judgement there.” Or he would sarcastically warn me and other employees, “We do not judge people here.” 

The great irony and what made it even more funny is that he, and everyone that works with him, love to judge those around them. But in the three years that I got to know him as a supervisor, a father figure and a friend I learned a very valuable lesson. You can quietly, and sometimes not so quietly, judge a person’s actions and decisions and still love them as a whole person. There were plenty of times that I did things, said things, or held opinions that he clearly judged to be wrong, self-destructive and in some cases out right dumb. But that is what has made him such a great friend. His judgement comes from a place of caring and not condemnation. He judged without shaming or making me feel inferior. Most importantly he understood that while he can give me his opinion it’s ultimately up to me to make my own decisions. While that might be difficult for him (and others) at times - especially when i was engaging in self-destructive behavior - it was a recognition of my autonomy as a person. Passing judgement while still be caring and supportive is a hire wire act and I am lucky to have met a man who walks it so well.

To make a judgement doesn’t mean you are necessarily condemning someone as a whole. So, don’t be afraid. It can be okay to judge, so long as our judgements aren’t hasty, without empathy and without careful thought. Sometimes judging can be a sign of love. I miss you boss.