Regrets...

I hate when people say they have no regrets. I guess I dislike when people say stuff like that because I find it hard to believe that people can actually feel that there is nothing in their lives that they regret doing, or not doing, saying, or not saying. I know that it feels like we should say we have no regrets. It feels better to say that there is nothing we would change about our lives. But I think people are being dishonest when they say something like, "I have no regrets. Everything I've done, good or bad, has made me the person I am today." Really? I understand that I am the sum of my experiences and choices but not everything in the equation that is my life is of such value that I can't go back and say, "oh man, i would love a do over of that" or "I wish I hadn't done this". In looking up regret I saw this:

When I saw this I thought, "Are you serious? People want things all the time. Just because they want them doesn't mean the desire was justified or wasn't a mistake/destructive."

For example, in college I was infatuated with a fellow student. She did not reciprocate. Do I regret the pain of not being loved back, or the sting of rejection or the awkwardness of trying to hold on to a friendship with this person after we both let our feelings known? No of course, not. It was an important life experience and taught me a lot about myself, what I value and how to deal with other people. What I do regret is spending the next year in a half in this dumb game of still trying to see if I could get her to like me! It led to a lot of misplaced emotions, time and energy. That is something I regret. I wish I would have just gotten the message right the first time instead of constantly putting myself in the same situation over and over and over again.

I regret things all the time. I think regret can be a good thing as long as you don't get hang up on it or if you can use the regret to inform future decisions. Regret shows thoughtful and careful inspection about your life choices and evaluates those decisions meaningfulness and impact on your life. If I had to do it all over again i would try and pursue a more artistic line of work. I regret not taking advantage of the opportunities I had as an undergrad to take more art classes. I can use that regret to push me towards going to a local community college to take a graphic design class or something.

I don't know why it bugs me, I just think people should have regrets. When it comes to having regrets, I have no regrets.