Depositing Rolls of Change...

Recently I ran into some financial trouble and I realized that I was going to have to deposit rolls of change in order to make sure some checks didn't bounce. There are few things in this world more embarrassing than having to deposit rolls of change at a bank.

First off, you are forced to get into a line where people are making legitimate financial and business transactions. Meanwhile you have a deposit slip in one hand and 18 dollars worth of quarters, nickels and dimes in another. You're literally holding your shame in your hands and everyone else in line can see it. Nobody in any kind of good financial standing stands in line at the bank with 14 dollars worth of change. That whole Coin-Star thing was built around the simple fact that people were so ashamed about depositing change that they would rather have a machine charge them than take it to a bank teller.

Second, when you finally make it to the teller you have to plop down the rolls of change, and it makes that loud clunky sound. It's the sounds of change and desperation. You just have this unrelenting sense of shame. You know that the teller is just judging you as they ask you how they can help you. "Hello sir, how can I help you? Oh I see that you're depositing 7 dollars in change. I am sure this is in no way a reflection on your ability to manage money...you loser!"

Here is why dealing with the teller is so embarrassing. It's one thing for you to know that you're broke and being forced to deposit change, that's embarrassing and shameful enough. But in a few short moments - the teller is going to see exactly how broke you are too! Even if the teller is a wonderful person who has convinced themselves that you're not a broke loser they have to deposit the money into your account and that's when they see that you're deposit of 20 dollars worth of quarters is increasing your balance by 200 percent.

Depositing rolls of change is really just sad. I know because I am forced to do it atleast twice a year. So lets hope that someday in the future they will have some kind of anonymous backroom in the bank that people like me can slink into. This backroom can have some kind of coin counting machine where I can deposit my rolls of change and try to hide my shame from the rest of the bank customers. Now that makes cents.