My Best of 2009

Best Movies:

Tyson - a great documentary. Even if you don’t like boxing or Mike Tyson this documentary provides a great first person account of one of the most

controversial, complicated and often misunderstood cultural icons of the last twenty years.

Fantastic Mr. Fox - In a time where everyone is looking for the next evolutionary step in computer animation and graphics Wes Anderson spent years bringing the stop-motion Fantastic Mr. Fox to life. The movie is def not for little kids, but it is for those of us who love Wes Anderson and love to be amazed at the intricacies of filming stop-motion animation.

Up - Disney and Pixar have done it again. I was crying 15 minutes into this freaking thing! Just a great fun story that centers around a grumpy old man. How could I not love it!

500 Days of Summer - Its a realistic love story that makes musical references to artists as diverse as Hall and Oates, The Smiths and the Clash. The ending was a little cheesy but the split screen of what a guy imagines will happen with what actually does happen completely resonated with me. Plus I love the musical:

Gran Torino (came out Dec 12 but didn’t see it until March) - Some people say Clint Eastwood makes the same movie over and over again. If they mean absolute classics, they are right! It’s funny, thought provoking and times cringe worthy. Loved this movie!

Movies that I recommend without seeing:

A Serious Man - How can I recommend it without seeing it? First off its the Coen brothers. Second its them dealing with the type of subject matter they do best. A man whose life is falling apart and the world around him that, at best doesnt seem to care, or at worse, adds to his problems.

Website you Better Enjoy Now:

Hulu.com - Over a year after singing the site's praises rumors are that fox and nbc will soon be turning this site into a subscription based site. So much for watching TV for free on my computer.

Albums: Not a great year for music but if you want my opinion:

Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Pheonix

Silversun Pickups - Swoon

Also the Beyonce album sounded good (what I heard of it anyway).

If you are into Pop music I would suggest listening to the Glee album

And you might want to also skim iTunes for Norah Jone's latest album or Regina Spektor's 2009 release which includes one my favorite singles of 2009. Laughing With:

Overrated Album

Kings of Leon - Only by the Night

It's All About Timing...

A friend recently asked me if they should buy a new iPhone. I told them that buying an iPhone and most Apple porducts for that matter are about timing. Case in point Apple likes to hold a pattern when updating their line of products. If you are thinking about buying a new iPod, MAC, or iPhone checkout Gizmodo's Buyer's Guide. It will tell you if you should buy or hold off for a product upgrade:

Also, checkout this: Ten Things You Should Stop Misspelling Guide. Pretty Funny:

This Is Insane!!!

You gotta be kidding me. I can't believe this is real.

Why Jack N Box is Open 24 Hours...

It's the Holiday Season which brings me to a topic that always comes around during this time of year... fast food drive-thru hours. I was driving with a friend when they noticed that Jack N Box would be open 24 hours on Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Years Eve. He couldn't understand why. So I offered an explanation.

24 hour drive-thru windows over the holidays are meant for sad pathetic families whose Christmas and New Years will turn into a disaster. I can't tell you the number of times that my family has had to retreat to the sanctuary of a fast food drive-thru after some family member's drug and alcohol induced meltdown ruins the holiday dinner for everyone.

And while I thank drive-thrus for being there for me and my family after these traumatic gatherings, it really is insult to injury. Because nothing says 'your family is a fucking mess' like coming home with a bag of McDonald's while everyone else's family somehow manages to have a functional Christmas dinner.

Dating Advice...

I was at Happy Hour last week with some co-workers and they got busy discussing who I should date. One thing stood out from their discussion. They decided that I needed to date a woman who would challenge me. Which got me thinking, is dating the only time people encourage you to try something difficult, uncomfortable and possibly disastrous?

I just bought a car last week and at no point did the salesman go, hey I know you want this car but I think you should go with this other car will be more challenging to drive and maintain. No one would ever say that. Do I have do date someone who's personality is going to clash with mine? Can;t I just date someone who I generally get along with? Just wondering.

With A Grain of Salt...

So I just realized something. People usually give out life advice after something bad happens to them. Which is weird because if someone who just had something bad happen to them gave you advice wouldn't your first reaction be, "why am I going to follow advice from someone who's life is falling apart?" Shouldn't I find the person who is having a kick ass life and ask them for their advice. Just an observation.

Who you should root for during the World Cup and Olympics...

With the World Cup and Olympics upon us I want to make one thing perfectly clear. If you live and or work in the U.S. you need to root for the U.S. I have noticed that a lot of my friends tend to root for countries of their ethnic heritage or their former homelands during international sporting competitions.

Well I have one message for you: Stop it.

My argument isn't nationalistic or xenophobic. Let me also say this. I am not asking people to not be proud of the heritage or their homeland. I'm just saying this, dance with the date you took to the prom. Rooting for another country while you live and work in America makes little sense to me. As a citizen, refugee, or immigrant the fact of the matter is you live here, you work here, your educated here. You get the best (and worst) that America has to offer. So come on, isn't the least you can do is to root for the U.S. when we play another country.

I am a good example. My grandparents are from Mexico and Nicaragua. I am latino. But I was born here. I root for this country. I can be proud of my heritage and respect the birthplace of my elders but the U.S. is my home.

The struggle might be harder for folks who were actually born in another country but migrated to the U.S. To them let me offer this analogy. Lets say your married. You have children with your spouse. But after many years together you fall out of the love you originally had. You divorce and you find a new spouse. You make a new home, maybe even start a new family with this new spouse. Now you can still love your old wife as the mother or father of your children. You can look fondly back t your relationship together. BUT what you cannot do is keep a pocket photograph of them in your wallet. You can't tell your new spouse, "man, you sure aren't as good of cook/lover as so and so." Doing so would make you inconsiderate, rude and a horrible spouse. But that is exactly what people do when they root against the U.S. in order to support a country they decided to no longer live in!!! How does this make any sense?

So, before you wave anyone else's flag. Dawn any other colors than red white and blue. Before you pull for anything but the star and stripes. Remember who you come home to every night. Be a team player.

And if you don't love it...leave it ;)

Life Is Hard...

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!'

I have never really understood that quote. It always seemed too happy. Who has the time to eat chocolate? Who has the time to drink wine? I dont really like wine. I always picture people with this outlook as folks with the time and the money to enjoy their lives. I don't have that luxury. Life, for me, isn't a fun ride. I wont be screaming "woo hoo" anytime soon. I got bills to pay, loans, insurance. I have to work. My motto isn't as cheery as the one above but I like it:

Life is a fight. Some rounds you win, some rounds you lose. But at the end of the day what matters is that you are willing to get off your stool and answer the bell.

I think life is hard. Life is filled with turmoil, hardship, challenges, and disappointments. Life is hard work. The easy thing to do is to give up. The easiest thing to do is just stay in bed. But I believe that the fighting spirit is something that is at the heart of life. It's the ability to get out of bed knowing you are going to have a bad day. Its getting up when you have been knocked down. It's putting your head down knowing that whatever this world dishes out you are just going to take it and keep moving forward. Thats what life is. It's about being willing to fight back against a harsh world. I hope I don't come off sounding as negative. That not my intention. My intention is to highlight the incredible fighting spirit of humanity and our willingness to prevail in spite of all the challenges that are put infront of us.

Before My Time...

Last week an employee of mine was reading a note written by a fellow employee. She read the following:

What would you do if sang out of tune

would you stand up and walk out on me

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song

I will try not sing out of key

at that point she stopped and looked around the room to the other twenty-two people in the room and asked, "is this a song?"

I erupted, "are you kidding me, please tell me your kidding me." Then another supervisor looked at me and said, "relax. It was before her time." That is really a horrible excuse. Forget the fact that I Get By With a Little Helpful From My Friends is a classic. The excuse is just horrible. According to that argument Harry Potter is what should be read in literature classes, to hell with that old fart Shakespeare. World War II? That was so yesterday. I just wish young people (who have history at their fingertips I might add) had a little appreciation for the past.

Twilight is Like Diet Coke...

Twilight and Harry Potter are books in the same way Diet Coke is "healthy". Both statements are true but only based on a technicality. Diet Coke is healthier than regular Coke (I guess). Twilight and Harry Potter are books in that they are written down narratives but come on is this really literature.

Diet Coke is supposed to be a healthy alternative but its still filled with tons of calories and aspartame which has been linked to some serious health issues. Plus people that drink Diet Coke become obsessed with it. I have never seen people drink one diet coke - they drink it all day! You know what I am talking about, the Diet Coke lovers who you see chugging it down all day starting with their obligatory 9am bottle or can. These folks think they are avoiding type two diabetes but instead they are just filling their bodies with horrible sugar replacements and empty calories.

Its the same with Twilight. People think they are doing something good for themselves but instead they are just becoming addicted to to a crap disguised as a book. Seriously? teenage vampires and werewolves? Don't even get me started again on how played out this whole plot is. If you are interested please feel free to read my rant on how big a rip off Twilight is here.

Twilight is just so damn awful. Its hacky, it uninspired, and its really geared toward 13 year old Goth girls. Is Diet Coke healthier than regular Coke? Maybe. Is it still bad for you? Definitely. Does Twilight have compelling characters? Yes, it has compelling characters who were created hundreds of years ago by other authors. Is Twilight a book? Yes. Is it a good one? Time will probably tell but I am betting that Twilight will not be remembered fondly.

Under the Weather...

Feeling a little sick - but I am coming out of it.

While my head is clear let me say the following:

1. Happy Birthday to Sesame Street. It's their 40th birthday. Kermit, Bert, Ernie, Cookie Monster, the Count, Snuffie, Big Bird, Elmo, Oscar the Grouch. All of them are amazing and a big part of my childhood.

2. Game 6 of the World Series tonight is going to be great. If the Phillies force a game 7 it will make this an unbelievably great series (regardless of the outcome). Plus, it will give Pedro Martinez one more chance to horrify Yankee fans. If the Yankees win it was an OK series. But it will be remembered because it will mean the Yankees will have won their 27th world title in the first year of New Yankee Stadium. Plus, they get to do it by beating arch nemesis Pedro Martinez. MVP honors should go to Chase Utley or Mariano Rivera - anyone else would be ridiculous.

3. Stop it facebook!!! Since the redesign of the site (and i feel like facebook changes its layout as often as my mother moves her living room furniture - which is to say every two weeks) I keep getting "suggestions" of people I should talk to. Hey! Listen up facebook, stop bothering me. I will write on someone's wall when I have something to say to them. Don't suggest anything to me. Maybe there is a reason why I don't talk to some of my online "friends". Which, by the way, is the reason I like Twitter's classification of "followers". Half the people on facebook are not my actual "friends" they are people I felt obliged to add or am stalking. "Followers" is a more accurate description of what i do through social networking sites. I follow people. Some may say "stalk" but "following" is nicer because it doest have any of those creepy/illegal connotations. :)

Some Weekend Observations...

Fortune Cookies should tell you things you don't already know. I got a fortune cookie that read "you are a thoughtful and generous person." I already know that! Fortune cookies don't tell you things you already know. I know how awesome I am. Tell me something about my future or give me some type of advice.

Next, Cherrios are a very underrated cereal. Thats all.

Third, if you sleep in most of the day try to avoid human contact. Interacting with people who went out and washed their car, or went shopping, or got a haircut, hiking, or did anything other than lying in a bed until one in the afternoon will make you feel even worse about yourself.

Four, the Yankees are super hatable

Five, what up with the kid from Where the Wild Things Are. He is like eight years old but knows how to sail a bout like he has been on a America's Cup team all his life. (For those of you who don't know what the America's Cup is - trust me that was funny.) Of all of the things in that movie, including having to sometimes stop myself and ask why Tony Soprano's voice was coming out a hairy monster suit, that was the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around.

Things You Cant Say To A Woman...

If any guy has ever had to deal with this senario even once they have had to deal with it one too many times.
A woman in your life asks you whether or not another woman is more attractive than she is.

Holy smokes! Here is why this is a horrible spot to be in. One, if the woman who asks you the question is more attractive than you sound like you are just telling her what you want to here. Example:
"No way. You are way prettier than she is."
"You're just saying that!"
A guy is left there to think, "well what the fuck? Do you want my opinion or not? If you were going to discredit my opinion why ask me?"

Then there are guys who (for some unknown reason) have the balls (coupled with the lack of brains) to tell a woman she is not as pretty as another female. Example:
"Is she prettier than me"
"Well, yea. I would say so"
At best the response will be her calling you an asshole and punching you. At worst she starts to cry, punching you and calls you an asshole. Either way you deserve the response. Fucking lie.

But the absolute worse thing you can do is hesitate in your response.
"Is she prettier than me"
pause..."ummm... well... I dont know...No, no way"
Your lady was already going to doubt your answer to begin with. You have done yourself no favors by turning what should be a simple response, into making it sound like you are doing long division in your head.

In any case, whenever faced with this question we, as men, are screwed! If we say no. Then we are going to be accused of lying or just trying to make them feel better. If we say yes we are assholes. If we hesitate we are untrustworthy assholes. If you happen to have a cyanide pill when a woman asks you this question just chomp down on it. You will be better off.

p.s. Ladies what with the weird dress and pant sizes? With guys its very clear. Sizes are tied to inches. We have no fucking way to decipher the difference between a woman who is size 4 or size 8? Size 10, 12, 14??? Its like the metric system of clothing you people got going on here. On behalf on all men" we are confused someone explain this to us.

Dodger Phillies Game4, Angels and Yankees Game 3

Dodgers took it on the chin last night and Cliff Lee pitched like a cy young winner. But the great thing about a blowout is that its often easier to forget than a close lose. Just ask the Twins. The key is for the Dodgers to get deep into counts and draw the occasional walk. If the Dodgers can score early they will get the bad taste of last night out of their mouth and quiet a racous Philly crowd. The key for the Phillies is simple. Keep the power going. Extra base hits have been their key to success its just a matter of their left handed hitters being able to strike against left hander Randy Wolf.

The Angels have to shake off the cobwebs and avoid errors, which they havent been able to do in the first two games. In addition Vlad Guererro needs to hit with runners in scoring position. He has usually thrived against Yankee pitching but not these "new" Yankee pitchers. I have a feeling that the Angels will be able to quiet A-Rod's bat on the road but need to be wary of Mark Texiera and The Captain (especially in late inning situations).

Its a must win for both Southern California teams tonight and a chance for the Yankees and Phillies to take a major step towards the World Series.

Boy in the Balloon

Well its sad that this little six year old boy has gone missing but I have a question? What the hell is this family doing with a homemade balloon. Unless these people are meteoroligist they have no reason to have a balloon. Well, after reading some articles apparently the young boys father is a person that chases storms.

In a 2007 interview with The Denver Post, Richard Heene described becoming a storm chaser after a tornado ripped off a roof where he was working as a contractor and said he once flew a plane around Hurricane Wilma's perimeter in 2005.

Pursuing bad weather was a family activity with the children coming along as the father sought evidence to prove his theory that rotating storms create their own magnetic fields.

Although Richard said he has no specialized training, they had a computer tracking system in their car and a special motorcycle.

The Heene family appeared twice on the ABC reality show "Wife Swap," most recently in February. - Associated Press

Not only is this story sad (and hopefully they find this kid alive and well...but how about dad stops paying so much attention to building balloons and chasing storms and spend more time watching his 6 year-old.

UPDATE: Happy to see that they found the little boy. But let this be a lesson to DIYers, once you have kids no more chasing storms, building homemade balloons. and who names their kid Falcon?

Windows 7 Launch Party

In an attempt to convince people that they finally developed an operating system that doesnt suck, Microsoft has developed Windows 7 Launch Parties. The idea is simple: You are invited by microsoft to hold a party where you show off the new windows 7 operating systme to friends, family and co-workers. Still confused about how you are supposed to pull this off? No worries. Micorsoft has developed a "how-to" video. I am not kidding. This is the worst thing I have ever seen. Its just so poorly acted and hacky. I can't believe someone at Microsoft looked at this and said, "yes! Now go put it on the internet for all to see." And the casting...really? Can we get more cliche than a black man, grandmother, middle aged white woman and hipster nerd are all in a kitchen having a chat about their Launch Parties...

If you can make it through this 6 minute train wreck you have nothing but my admiration. Its trully worth it just to see how bad it is.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things...

Growing up as a kid me and my brother had two holy grails when it came to toys. They were both toys my dad had growing up. One was an Atari 64ish game counsel. The thing had to be at least 15 years old and it was a dinosaur compared to the original Nintendo. Still it was in perfect condition and my brother and I would love to play it. The second game was his old school rock em sock em robots. This thing was 20 years old if it was a day. But still it worked great. My brother and I loved it. My dad always told us to be careful with these toys. In hindsight I think he was more concerned with protecting these toys then he was protecting us :). My dad grew up in an age when things actually broke. I am not kidding, I drop my iPod all the time and it just keeps ticking. We have grown up in an age where our "toys" are almost indestructible. What does this mean? We have grown up not taking care of anything. If we break something or lose it we buy another one. We are a generation that accidentally drops cell phones down toilets, steps on iPods, throw our CDs around to the point were they get so scratched you can't even play them. We are so jaded we refer to an album coming out as a "CD dropping." CDs SHOULDN'T drop!!! When CDs drop they get damaged. Could you imagine your parents or grandparents, at the age of 20 something, getting a device that costs 400 dollars, plays music, video, connects you to other people around the world, records video and makes phone calls. They would lay down their life to make sure nothing happened to it. Don't believe me? Think about grandma's couch wrapped in plastic, or how your paents would never let you eat in the living room for fear that you would drop something on the crappy shag carpet.

Hell, it gotten so bad that we don't even make things anymore just to make sure that we don't f' them up. Pretty soon the idea of owning a CD, DVD, or printed material will be a thing of the past. Music, movies, books, magazines and newspapers will be completely digital just to ensure that we don't even get a chance at destroying them. But not us, we absolutely wreck our iPods and cell phones. We scratch the damn thing, drop it, lose it in a drunken stooper. We abuse the damn thing and we treat it that way because we are now building things to withstand mistreatment from dumb asses like us!

How many more times do we have to see a "I lost my cell phone need your numbers" thing on facebook.

You lost a device that allows you to make phone calls from anywhere and keep the personal information of thousands of people in pocket? How do we get careless with something that amazing? If you went back in time 60 years with a cell phone you would be arrested and accused of being a witch! Thats how awesome a cell phone is and yet we just treat it like its nothing.

I guess what I am saying is that we live in a golden age. We have treasures (expensive ones) at our finger tips. Lets prove to ourselves that we deserve them. Lets prove that we can have nice things.

A Quick Piece of Advice...

Here is good piece of advice:

Dont hold a grudge, because while your holding on to it the other person is probably out dancing.

Lady Gaga and Iowa Loves the Gays...

I saw Lady GaGa's second performance on Saturday Night Live. At first I was confused. The whole get-up she was wearing was distracting. Well about a minute or so in she went into a medoly of her hits BUT she did it without pre-recorded music. She went and played a piano and let her talent speak for itself something that most pop-stars cant do (Britney Spears anyone). Was she an overwhelming talent as musician or singer, no - not really. But the fact that she would even allow herself to be so vulnerable and stripped down proved to me that she has guts. Todays pop stars are often media creations who are unable to sing and build their career on theatrics. It was nice to see someone say, "hey, I am actually have some discernible talent and can don't have to rely on choreography and lip-syching."

Here is the clip for those who haven't seen it:

Also, how sad is it that IOWA, yes Iowa - as in Field of Dreams Iowa, is more progressive than California. How progressive you ask? Well this weekend were "gay days" at Disneyland which I think is a weird promotion for two reasons. First, Disneyland is the happiest - and hence gayest place on earth. Second, I only know one gay person who doesn't like Disneyland. I digress, the Iowa Board of Tourism was at Disneyland for Gay Days recruiting gay folks to come to Iowa and get married. I never thought I would live in a world were Iowa would be more progressive than California. Forget San Francisco or We Ho say hello to Iowa City and Des Moines. Wave Goodbye to the Castro and say hello to the open embrace of fields and fields of corn.

BIG...

For those of you who are not aware of the 1988 classic BIG let me let you in on a little secret. It is the best and most realistic movie about a 13 year old boy who becomes a 30 year old man overnight after making a wish at a carnival arcade game. Talk about a niche genre.

But seriously in an age of horrible age reversal films (I am looking at you Zack Efron and Chandler from Friends) BIG stands as a testament that these films can be well done. BIG stars Tom Hanks as the adult version of the 13 year old Josh who becomes a grown up overnight after making a wish. From the get go the movie is great because it isnt goofy. When Josh tries to explain to his mother what happens she freaks out thinking that she is being robbed and assumes later that the man who was robbing her has kidnapped her son. Most movies nowadays wouldnt be able to pull this off. The scene would be corny, slap stick, or full of cheap laughs. But in BIG this is actually a pretty intense and sad scene/thread that runs throughout the films. Second, their isnt any BIG lesson (pun intended) to be learned. the entire tension revolves around Hank's character trying to survive in the adult world long enough until he can find the arcade game and wish himself back into his childhood. Also in other movies kids who become adults somehow find a crappy way to become successful teachers, lawyers, fashion designers and so on. In BIG Josh finds success doing something that a 13 year old might actually be good at: making and testing toys.

Plus its got one of the most iconic scenes of all time:

If you have never seen BIG before do yourself a favor and see it as soon as possible.

You Know You've Made It...

How do you measure success? Success is a difficult thing to describe. Typically because success is mostly about the way other people see us. Even the way we personally define success is often based on what others values or find important. So with that in mind I have tried to create some standards that define success:

1. You have an island in your kitchen. Nothing says "you've made it" like having an island in your kitchen. An island says "hey my kitchen is so freaking big that i have a part of it that is name after a mass of land."

2. High tech garbage cans. If you have one of those trash cans that pop out of your island or counter top - you are a success. You are a super duper success if you have one of those motion sensor trash cans in your place. Motion sensor trash cans are a great way of letting others know that even your garbage is better than their garbage.

3. When you have enough money to work around a phobia you have. Most people who have a fear dont have the time, money or energy to work their way around it. Most folks become slaves to their fears. But successful people can go to great lengths to overcome the obstacles places in front of them. John Madden may best known as the name behind one of the biggest video games in history, or as a hall of fame football coach. But he is a celebrity in my eyes because he was so successful that people simply accepted that he wouldn't fly on airplanes. The man was a successful coach and Super Bowl champion and no one seemed to care that he refused to fly. Instead he just rode a bus everywhere and when he was tired of taking a bus to coach his games he just quit. And no one said a word!!! Flash forward to his broadcast career where he STILL refused to fly and instead rode a tricked out bus/mobile home around for the past 25 years. When you have a strange fear that causes you to dramatically alter the way you live your life and no one seems to care or notice - you sir or madam are a success. That or your sooooo bat shit crazy that no one has the guts to tell you how nuts you are.

Well there you have it. If you have any other sure fire signs that someone has "made it" please feel free to leave a comment. Next post: Why the move BIG is so great (no, I am not kidding).

Modest Mouse...

I know I have said this before - but Modest Mouse has the best album titles I have ever freaking heard. Don;t believe me:

We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank

Good News for People Who Love Bad News

This is A Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About

Building Nothing Out of Something

The Lonesome Crowded West

and finally there newest E.P: No Ones First, and Your Next (how great is that).

and the song lyrics are just as creepy, weird, clever and fun. The title of this blog is actually a rip off of one of those lyrics.

I hope that next week I can post some more sketches and entries.

This is What I Do During Meetings...

Its not that I am not paying attention during meetings. Its just that I like to doodle. Otherwise I really space out and can't focus. From left to right: row 1 (some "punk rockers" singing the Clash, door decs that I worked on, Row 2: more door decs, Row 3: A hand and a guy scream, Spiderman). Expect more posts like this throughout the year!

I Fear For Our Children and the Future of Music...

Where is music headed? What kind of path are our children being led down?

I ask this because over the last three years I have heard some very disturbing things from 19-21 year olds. During the Grammy's last year a group of students I lived with didnt know who the Four Tops were. This wouldn't have been so bad - but the Four Tops where on stage singing their hits and none of them recognized them. These same students then got all frenzied when Taylor Swift hit the stage. I was confused.

Then at a meeting I got blank stares from young students who didnt know who Peter Gabriel was. Then I started playing "Sledgehammer", "Solsbury Hill" and "In Your Eyes." They still had no fucking idea who he was!

Flash forward a month. I am driving a student and the opening notes to Roxanne by the Police comes on. When Stings voice comes in she said, "Oh I thought it was a different song." She though it was a song by Cam'ron. Then I said "oh yea he sampled it. But you know this song though right?" She just looked at me and said "no." I almost crashed my car. How could you have NEVER heard Roxanne??? You are 22 years old!!! Did she even know who the Police were? I decided not to ask less my head explode.

And it has continued. This past week I caught Dream On by Aerosmith on the radio. My R.A. in the back got disappointed when he found out it wasn't Eminem. I asked him if he ever heard the original. Again, another negative response. Worst of all the kid was a flatbiller (dont even get me started on that again...)

Here is what confuses me: If I were 18,19, 20 and hear a song with a sample and I liked it wouldn't I be interested enough to fucking try to track down the original?

Another thing. Are kids not even curious about music made before they were born? I remember growing up and listening to oldies and classic rock. You know who I should blame - PARENTS!!! You are responsible for shaping the musical taste of your kids but too many parents are trying to be hipsters and cool. My father was an awful parent but atleast he introduced me to great music like Bob Marley, Sade, The Doors, Pink Floyd, Santana and a whole bunch of other crap. We weren't listening to awful cookie cutter pop. We were listening to everything. Oldies, Motown, Classic Rock... We were listening to actual f'ing musicians.

Speaking of which how in the hell did Autotune become so popular? It sounds like the computer voice on my Mac is singing or rapping at me. Thank God Jay-Z atleast spoke out against it. Maybe all the sheep/rappers will stop using it now that there hero has called them out.

Which brings me to my next complaint: When did hip hop officially die?

I find it super hard to find a hip hop song to get excited about. Why? Because all of them are now so damn superficial and cookie cutter: Here, I am going to write a hip-hop song:

I am a bad ass

I am going to the club in my fly car

I am popping champagne bottles in the VIP and making it rain.

I see girl who is checking me out

She is going to come home with me and I am going to fuck her.

DONE!

Seriously is that not the general outline of a hip-hop song nowadays? Oh I forgot, to mention that I am number one, rule the game and I will fuck up anybody who tries to compete with me - now I am done writing a rap song. Here is the thing, hip hop artist can write that song but when its the ONLY song they write its fucking played out! Tupac had I Get Around and All Eyes On Me but he also had songs like Brenda's Got a Baby and Keep Your Head Up.

Anyway, Maybe I am just getting older and cranky (which I am totally find with) but I stand firm in my belief that todays music is (largely) GARBAGE.

RunPee.com

Have you ever sat in a movie needing to pee but were afraid that if you left you would miss a big part of the movie? Well there is a new website, and iPhone/iPod Touch app, that can help you. RunPee.com shows you different points during the movie where you can safely "run and go pee". If you have the app you can set a timer that will buzz you to remind you that your moment has come. Plus while you are in the bathroom you can read a synopsis of what your missing in the theater. Pretty sweet.

A Quick New Post...

Things that are annoying:

People who announce: “This is really cool,” before spending the next right minutes explaining something that is the opposite of cool (like research, surveys, the planet pluto, obscure references to television shows that no one watches...).

I like when people with opposite opinions get involved in a pissing contest. They just go back and forth trying to convince each other of their intelligence and how their position is right. Meanwhile the rest of us in the room want to shoot ourselves. A huge waste of time.

Also so looking forward to next Saturday at 5pm. USC v Ohio State. If SC can pass for over 225 yards, rush for over 270 yards and keep the turnovers to two and under they should win the game.

D.J. AM...

Here are a couple of my videos of TRV$ and D.J. A.M. at this year's Weenie Roast. First video is the Welcome to the Jungle Intro. Second is a seamless transition from Rage Against the Machine to Jay-Z.

The Female Orgasm...

We all know the female orgasm is a myth just like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and that alleged nice part of New Jersey.

But that hasn't stopped Kim Wallace of Emory University from tring to get to the bottom of the vagina (pun intended). Wallace is looking at physiology and trying to determine what the anatomy of a vajay-jay might tell us about the likelihood of a woman to orgasm through normal sex. Apparently it as easy as looking at you thumb. When with a clitoris-vagina distance is that of 2.5 cm or less, roughly the length between the tip of your thumb and first knuckle then a woman is more likely to have an orgasm through penetration alone.

(editors note: can someone tell me what 2.5 cm is standard measurement. I live in America for christ sakes stop giving me info in metric units!)

ere is a quick excerpt from the article:

Preliminary work has revealed that only about 7% of women always have orgasms with sex alone, he says, while 27% say they never do. The current research hold-up: developing a reliable, at-home technique for measuring C-V distance, especially one that can deal with stretchy skin.

Women with a large C-V distance should not be discouraged, Wallen says. "Personally, I don't think the inability to experience no-hands, penis-only intercourse with orgasm says anything about a happy sex life," he says. "Maybe it could allow couples to be a bit more inventive in how they have sex."

By the way, Prof. Wallace is a dude. Sounds like just another excuse a guy made it up to look at more vaginas and to blame women for not having an orgasm. Word!

Really?

Checkout this advertisement from facebook. I am sure you have seen it before but when I saw it this past week I had to take a screen grab.

I just like the tag line. 'Looking for Christian girls like her?' Yes. I want to meet girls who love Jesus and are whores. I am looking to date Mary Magdalen - not the virgin Mary. Seriously, who are the marketing geniuses who comes up with this stuff? I wish I could be in the pitch meeting:

"Steve, guys are looking for girls who share their christian faith but are quick to put out... Steve, dont be so quick to judge... how would you know you're jewish... trust me, we will find plenty of slutty christian girls"

Also, a recent L.A. Times article shows the newest form of advertising in magazines - VIDEO!!! The upcoming Entertainment Weekly will have video advertisements from Pepsi and CBS. Don't believe me? You can check it out here. I can just imagine the day when my kids are playing on their touch-screen hologram computers.

Usain Bolt and Wedding Pictures...

Hey party people.

I am writing this blog while laying on my couch elevating my foot. Many of you know that I wrecked my foot while running. Obviously I am not good at it. But you know who is - Usain Bolt! I was so tired of people talking about Michael Phelps last year. Nothing against the guys level of talent. Its just that he has the personality of a cardboard box (plus he looks like a horse). Usain in the meantime eats chicken nuggets on the track before breaking world records, is always great at coming up with memorable quotes and he smashes world records. Example: Today he broken his own WR by running a 9.58 100 meters. He broke his own record by .11 of a second (which is a huge amount). Lets put this in context. American Tyson Gay ran a 6.71, just .02 second behind the old record, and still lost by .13 of a second.

Still cant understand how fast bolt is? At top speed he was running 30 miles per hour. Dude was running 30 miles per hour on two legs!!! That is nuts.

Also, because I have a ridiculous amount of time on my hands I somehow managed to find a photography company for my wedding. I know, I know - I am not getting married but atleast when it happens I will be prepared. I loved this companies website and their photos. So when the time comes they can expect a call from me. http://honey-photo.com/

But just a side note. We spend a lot of money on wedding photos and recording weddings. But do couples actually ever go through their wedding albums? Do they ever pop in the DVD of their wedding? The only time I can think of a person watching their own wedding video is if they were about to get divorced. I know that may sound funny but doesn't that make sense? You're devastated, your vulnerable, you are wondering where things went wrong. What do you do? You watch the wedding? Seems like a lot of money to spend on something you are only going to watch when you;re marriage comes to a end. I'm just sayin'.

You Know Whats Not Cute...My Foot!

The ankle is getting better... but its looking worse. What started as swelling on the right side of my foot (it looked like a tennis ball was growing in my ankle) turned into a completely swollen ankle on Tuesday. Well what happens Wednesday night when i go to ice everything down. My entire foot looks like it ate another foot. Usually if I look at my foot i can see the outline of bones, veins, and what i can only assume are ligaments. I cant see any of that now on my left foot. It is just swollen like a mofo. The good news is the pain is slowly going away. I will spare you the picture of my foot - thats unless you want to see it. Just let me know.

How Cute Are They?

Bugs, Street Names and Coffee Mugs...

Well, I knew I would eventually run into something about the apartment that would be a negative. Bugs love coming into my apartment. Not big bugs, just small little critters that can get through the screens on the windows and sliding glass doors. Its not too bad though. There are only a few of them and they are easy to get rid of. However, ants are a different story. I think ants were already here when I moved in because any crumb of food attracted them. So I have gone on the offensive in trying to take these suckers out. I just guess I am going to be extra careful to be a neat freak in the kitchen. Which is a good thing.

I love one thing about La Jolla, the street signs are HUGE. No more squinting or waiting to the last second to see the name of the street coming up. The signs are big and so are the fonts. HOWEVER, every other freaking street here is "La Jolla something". Dont believe me:

La Jolla Village Drive

Villa La Jolla Drive

La Jolla Scenic Drive

La Jolla Shore Drive

La Jolla Parkway

OK. ENOUGH! I GET IT! I live in La Jolla. And these arent streets that turn into one another, these are separate and unique roads. It is going to be a pain in the ass trying to give directions while not confusing people. "right onto La Jolla Village Drive, then a right on Villa La Jolla Drive but if you hit La Jolla Shore Drive you have gone to far." Hey La Jolla you are defeating the purpose of big clear street signs if all your streets are practically named the same thing!!!

Coffee mugs. I like them. Problem is I dont like coffee. I like the look and the feel of a coffee mug. I would like to use my USC, UCSB or Wake Forrest coffe mug (btw, why hasn't UCSD

given me a free coffee mug yet?). But I dont drink coffee. I want to use a coffee mug. it looks so adult/professional. Put a coffee mug in the hand of a baby and you know that is a baby with places to go and things to do! Coffee mugs say, "I mean business". Any ideas what kind of tasty beverage I can put in there instead of coffee???

Manny and Big Papi...

Well today came the report that Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz both tested positive for performance enhancing drugs in 2003. Well, I don't have to much to say about the report. But I have a lot to say about how they are handling it. Ramirez AGAIN refuses to discusses his reported PED use. Big Papi on the other hand? He had the guts to get in front of the media and and tell them that he was surprised to hear he had tested positive. He told them that he would get the info and talk to them about. That he wouldn't run from this news. Manny? Here is a guy who hid from his own team for a MONTH before he would formally apologize to them for getting suspended for steroid use. Big Papi is going to look good because of how bad Manny continues to deal with this. Much props Papi.

Greetings From the Whale's Vagina...

I am finally in San Diego and I have internet access. I am excited to be in San Diego and starting my new jobby job. There are a lot of great things about my apartment and let me just list a few:

1. HBO!!! Thats right. I get free HBO.

2. As part of my compensation I get to live in a two story, three bedroom town-house style apartment.

3. No more waiting in line to do laundry. Why? Because my apartment comes with its own washer and dryer.

4. Great weather.

5. Two balconies/patios. One in the living room and one outside the guest bedroom.

6. The apartment has built in wireless internet.

I am really digging the new apartment as you can tell. Now I just gotta find my groove when it comes to this job. I guess I just need to keep my ears and eyes open while I learn the ropes out here. Alright y'll I will post some pictures and video of the apartment later. Until then enjoy Aziz Ansari's new character RAAAAAAANDY. Hilarious.

Found the Internet and Coloring Books...

I found the internet!!! It was right outside my door. Literally

I found an internet connection the only catch is I have to be on the little stoop/patio outside of my mom's place. So here I am sitting enjoying the sunshine and the internet.

I was laying down trying to get to sleep a couple of nights ago and I though of something? "Do kids still get excited about coloring books?" Seriously? I remember when I was a kid over the summer I loved nothing more than drawing or coloring a coloring book. Especially if the coloring book told a story or have connect the dots or paint by numbers pages in them. But now I looks at kids and I cant imagine them being interested in coloring books!!! My half-brother is about to be 8 and he already has a cell phone, an xbox and is constantly playing on his mom's iPhone. Its ridiculous the amount of technological toys available to little kids.

The only reason that me and my brother even got a nintendo was because the lady that my dad was having an affair with had a nintendo and he felt bad that we didnt have one but that this kid did. But back to my point, kids are being overly stimulated at a young age.

I dont want kids playing on PSPs or Nintendo DSs. I want them to use coloring books. Before you know it they will be extinct. By the time we have kids they wont know what the hell a newspaper is, or lay-away (thats for my poor friends out there), or hell even chocolate milk? I havent seen a commercial for chocolate milk in ages? Do kids still drink it. All I am saying is lets let kids return to a simpler childhood.

A Quick Outro...

So today is the day. Two years down the road and I am done with my masters, done with my work here at USC and onto whatever may be next. I will be hit and miss with the Internet over the next couple/few weeks. Thanks to you (my friends) who manage to always keep me going and show me unconditional love, support and patience through good times and the bad times. So in the mean time I will leave with a quote that I think is appropriate.

Is that the mind's last soundless, dying cry? Who will remember? There was not rustling of the old crowds as my long wrenching voyage came ended. Only one question. Who will remember? Then I saw a sign saying, as if about the past, NO VACANCY. FILES CLOSED. And it was time to start uphill toward another morning and toward another home.

Piggy Backers

I have noticed a new class of people - piggy backers. Piggy backers are people who feel the need to piggy back off your story or your conversation and make it about them. I didn't notice these people until someone pointed them out to me at work. I noticed there were certain people who always got under my skin but I couldn't put my finger on it. They weren;t dumb, or mean or rude. But there was something about them. Then my co-worker explained that piggy-backers are folks who need to somehow relate your story to something similar they have experienced. Example:

"Oh my God I drank waaaay to much on Saturday and felt awful the next morning."

"I know me too! I totally got wasted but I ate some food before I went to bed and felt a little bit better."

or:

"I went shopping for shoes this weekend"

"I went to the outlets in Camarillo and found these fabulous shoes that I can use for work or when I go out. They also match this purse I found!"

Now here is the tricky thing with these folks, and piggy backing in general. Piggy backing off of someone else' story it normal. We all do it. It makes for good conversation. BUT NOT IF YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME. At that point it just sounds like you are always try to trump the last persons story or make the conversation about you. Inevitable everyone will start thinking you are an a-hole. Please stop it folks. Piggy backing - like most things - is only good in small doses.

FIGHT ON CONAN!!!

How People Describe You

I have said this for a while but you can really tell a lot about a person by the way others describe them. That is if your willing to read between the lines. I believe that if someone describes a person by saying they are who they are - then that person is more than likely an asshole.

Here is an example of what that might sound like, "Jim is a great guy. Salt of the earth. He would give someone the shirt off of his back. Susy? She is a really sweet girl great sense of humor and sharp as a tack. Frankie? Well, Frankie is Frankie." That should set off an alarm for anybody. The translation is, "Frankie is a jerk and nobody likes him." Can you think of anybody who is described using their name that people like? The answer is no.

It's basically the equivalent of somebody using Thumper's "if you dont have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" advice. We re trying to be polite about the fact that this person is annoying but we aren't exactly hiding it either. So the moral of the story is a) don't be that person and b) if you her someone describes that way run in the opposite direction.

Lakers and Iran

The Lakers win the NBA title and the next day the stock market drops over 180 points. I think its safe to say the Lakers are bad for America and their fans are communists.

Laker fans also decided to riot downtown in the newly revitalized downtown. As a parent might say, "this is why we can't have nice things." Investors spend hundreds of millions to build a new and vibrant downtown and a handful of dummies manage to light tress on fire, turn over cars and vandalize public and private property. Well done Laker fans you have now joined soccer fans and 1980's Detroit Piston fans as idiots who are unable to deal with success.

To make matters worse for Laker fans their behavior looks even more childish when you compare it to the behavior of millions of Iranians. Here are millions of people who have felt cheated and felt that their democratic system (which wasn't really that democratic to begin with to be honest) was being subverted. How do they react? With protest that are noble and uplifting in the face of tyranny and repression. Thumbs up to the millions of Iranian protesters and thumbs down to the hundreds of dumb-ass Laker fans who don't know how the hell to celebrate with any sort of class.

I don't hate anybody (nor should you)...

Well, I was wondering whether or not to respond to the two folks who commented on the last blog. After deliberating for a while I have decided to do so. Here is why: My intention with this whole blog is to be an over the top and a parody of the "angry" person I sometimes pretend to be around friends and family. And if someone else happens to find it funny great. And if someone who doesn't know me enjoys my commentary or insights into politics or sports - even better.

Thats why I have decided to say I am sorry to the two folks who posted on the last blog because I am not trying to piss people off and leave them in a bad mood. That being said I will try to tone down some of the absurdity in my "rants." Hopefully after this little explanation/apology will make you two feel a little better. To quote the legendary Don Rickels, "I'm a nice guy."

p.s. two other things:

1. I am employed - but looking for another gig.

2. How in the hell are you people even finding this blog? I have had people from Europe comment on some of this stuff and I have no idea how you people are finding this!

now back to rooting for the Orlando Magic...

I Hate This Person...

The following is from an L.A. Times article written today about the digital television transition happening tomorrow. I almost had an aneurism when I read the section below:

Devon Dunlap, 24, of Studio City works in the television industry but hadn't realized that the transition was coming until she saw a public service announcement during the Los Angeles Lakers NBA finals game Tuesday night.

"I'm not actually a big television watcher," said Dunlap, who works in postproduction on reality TV shows.

Devon Dunlap, 24, of Studio City: DIE! Seriously. Go run into traffic and kill yourself. You work in "television" (i put that in quotes because she works in reality T.V. which is barely television and hardly entertainment) and you didn't know T.V. were going digital this week? How f'ing stupid are you? Don't even get me started on how you are a cancer on society for working on reality t.v. shows and I don't care that you aren't "a big T.V. watcher." This has been in the f'ing news for the last year and has been advertised for the last year - at least! In a years time you mean to tell me you haven't seen one single channel of this b.s. Its not like there has been a lack of public service announcements. I am surprised the govt. hasn't just resorted to carving the date onto our freaking faces. Because based on the number of people like Devon Dunlap, 24, of Studio City, It would honestly be less painful and more effective than all these damn commercials.

I WILL SUE THE PANTS OFF OF YOU...

Do you know who John Lee Riches is? Well, according to the Guinness book of World Records he is the most litigious man in the world. In other, words he loves to sue people. Don;t believe me. This is how he responded to the news that he would be honored by Guinness as the most litigious person in the world. He sued them! He said that he is turning down the award because he faces "iminent (sic) danger and bodily harm from the Defendant's (sic) who plan to publish me and about my life in their books without my authorization or consent." Are you kidding me, a guy who has been convicted of wire fraud thinks that being named the most litigious man is going to hurt his rep?

Who has this guy sued:

New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichik

Britney Spears

Michael Vick

George W. Bush

Martha Stewart

Plato

Nostradamus

The Eiffel Tower

Holy Grail

Pluto (the planet) and

Somali Pirates

He claims that he has sued only 4000 people, not 5500 as reported by Guinness. I dont know what to say about this guy so I just leave it at that.

also one quick thing. People please stop saying "I could care less." The right phrase in "I couldn't care less."

I Wouldn't Call It a Great Week...

So this week has been more or less a disappointment. Lets rund down some of this weeks more significant annoyances:
Lakers won game 1 of the NBA Finals. Can Kobe ever get that puss off his face. OK, we get it you're 'intense', you 'want it bad'. Can you smile fucking once - you are up 20 points in the second half you know. No wonder nobody outside of LA roots for this guy. He is a big phony and to make matters worse he plays the game with zero joy!
Got turned down from another job. Well, I wont be headedto San Luis Obispo. I got turned down yesterday. This more than likely means that I am going to have to move in with family before I find a job at another school or at least until i get a gig as a sign holder.
Mosquitos are eating me alive. For the last three weeks I am covered in mosquito bites in the morning. I finally bought some candles that are supposed to drive them out. I don't know if it worked but there were no new bites to report and i killed two mosquitos this morning that were hanging around my hamper.

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO:
The Hangover with Amber Saturday
Dodger game with Indi on Wednesday
Maybe hearing back from a school who wants to hire/interview me
I got some pretty good blog entries coming up. I think y'all will enjoy them.

My TV finally going f'ing digital on Friday. And no i don't care that millions of people still aren't ready for the transition. As far as I am concerned these are people who have proven themselves to be so stupid that we need to prevent them from breeding.

There Goes My Hero...

Wonder why I love to complain. Thank Adam. This is a great example:

My Favorite Thing From Last Week...

Last Friday the Cleveland Cavaliers and Orlando Magic played their classic second game of the Eastern Conference Finals. Below is a video of a local Cleveland news crew and their real time reaction to what was going on in the game. I love how sports can turn people from broadcast professionals to crazy rabid fans in a second (literally a second). This clip will not disappoint:

Jon and Kate Plus 8...

Is this what we have become as a society. There was a time in this country were The President (the freaking President) could have an affair with the most famous actress in Hollywood and no one would say anything and nobody knew anything. Now people on a reality show on a second tier cable channel are being scrutinized and followed on CNN. Unbelievable. What Jon and Kate are, or aren't, doing is nobody's business. Yes its sad, but its not news. Why is it on the cover of magazines and news websites. This insane. When did cheating on your significant other become news? More importantly when did cheating between two people on the TLC channel become news?
What makes me more upset than anything are the "journalists" on these shows who say "oh this must be so devastating for the children." Hey A-hole!!! Guess what? You aren't making it any easier on this family. You think that you are making this easier on the kids by hounding them, chasing their parents around and putting this whole traumatic thing on television??? And same goes for all the dummies buying all these magazines and watching these shows which only vindicates what these losers do for a living. By buying into all this nonsense you legitimize what these people are doing to this family.On another note, why is it called TLC? TLC is supposed to stand for "The Learning Channel". Where is the learning? Its a bunch of shows about what to wear, people baking cakes and families with litters of kids. I see absolutely nothing of educational value. TLC its time for a name change.

David and Raech, thanks for joining...

KROQ's Weenie Roast y Fiesta 2009

Here are some cool videos. In order: Silversun Pickups closing their set with Lazy Eye, Wezer covering MGMT's Kids and finally DJ AM and Travis Barker being joined by Warren G. Simply amazing.

Some Random Observations...

Alumni license plates. Heres the thing. Its great to rep your school with a sticker logo of your alma mater or the traditional alumni license plates. But please think twice about putting them on a crappy car. Are you really showing your school "love" by associating them with a 91 Toyota Trecel hatchback. Don't rock the alumni gear on your car unless you are driving a semi-decent car. Otherwise people will just start to associate your school with a crappy degree that leads to a crappy job that leads to a crappy car.

Futons. Futons are great - for the first three months. After that they are worn out and all your left with is a the world worst couch/a crappy bed. There are only a few places you should see a futon. A fraternity house, a dorm room or a guy's studio apartment (ladies - your above the futon, you have more class than us fellas).

Graduation Regalia. This country is known for rejecting traditions that demean human dignity (slavery for example). Yet we continue the stupid tradition of the cap and gown for graduation. I will be graduating this Friday and that means that I will end my academic career by looking like an idiot. Seriously. My masters robe looks like the thing worn by the killer in SCREAM. Its just silly looking. Its embarrassing and dehumanizing to ask a bunch of educated people, who just dropped a massive dime to go to school, to rent a stupid looking gown. I know its tradition but its a stupid one. Let us wear something formal. Or - in order to avoid the annoying families in the audience trying to pick their kid out of the crowd, like so many eight year olds trying to find Waldo, let us rock jerseys with our last names on the back. That would be cool. and we could rock a special patch with our graduating year and the program we are graduating from. How much cooler would that be?

Just a quick update...

So a few things I have noticed/realized:

I cry a lot. No. Seriously - I really do.

A guy in pink dress shirt complimented me on my Aqua Teen Hunger Force: The Moon Rules t-shirt. so that made my day.

I realized that I really love slideshows. I love putting them together and watching people enjoy them.

I am going to owe student loans for a looooooooong time.

why do guys feel the need to bathe in cologne. Dont we smell these guys and just do the B.O. math. If you wreak of Calvin Klein shouldn't I just assume that you naturally smell like a skunk without it. And at that point is wreaking of cologne really an improvement?

Stop Telling Me About Something I Cant Watch...

Over the last three weeks I have been hammered over the f'ing head with news about Britain's Got Talent. First it was the really old ugly lady who has never been kissed but is an amazing singer. Then it was about someone else who may even be better than her. Now its awkward 10 year old girl with a great voice. Hey guess what? I dont fucking live in England so I cant watch the show. Stop giving me updates about a show I cannot find on my television. This is by far one of the stupidest things ever!!! I dont even know what to equate it or compare it to.

Two more things. One can we please stop stuffing food into other food. It isnt an improvement - its pretentious at best and insulting at worst. I first realized how awful the stuffing of food into other food was during Thanksgiving. I dont need stuffing in the Turkey. Its just weird. Its like watching a dead foul crap out a plastic bag and then eating the contents. My brain and my mouth just end up having a very long debate over how they feel about eating the stuffing and it ruins the meal. The idea of food stuffing being bad was solidified for me at Ortega during my time at UCSB. I sat down with something called Chicken Cordon Bleu. All i thought was that I was going to eat some delicious chicken. thats until I dug in with my fork and saw the awful truth. Inside my chicken was some godawful cheese and a piece of ham. All I remember thinking was "who the hell thought this was a good idea." I was disgusted. It was gross. And the same thing is true of cheese stuffed crust for pizza. Its insulting. No I dont want to eat my pizza backwards. No I dont want cheese in my crust. I just want my crust.

Number two, is there a bad drink that comes in a bag? Carpisun - awesome. Boxed Wine - very good. I am just saying why dont more drinks come in bags?

TYSON and more...

I saw a screening of the documentary TYSON last night and, like the man, it was complex, interesting and compelling. Since I was a teenager I have drawn to Mike Tyson. I have a book were I would write down some of his quotes. I found him to be the epitome of humanity, a series of contradictions and paradoxes that even he has a difficult time understanding or resolving. Here you have a man who was dubbed "The Baddest Man on the Planet" but inside he was emotionally and physically fragile. Someone who looked like just a wild animal outside of the ring, but outside could be introspective and thoughtful about his life. Mike is someone who wants to love other people, but at the same time finds it hard to trust them. It is all these things that come through in the film. Its awesome and I recommend it to anyone. It s released in LA and NY on Friday (tomorrow).

I am winding down the end of my masters program. Just 22 days to go. I cant decide if the last two years have zipped by or dragged along. I am sure that the further away I get from it the quicker it will have seemed to have passed.

No update on the jobs other than to say I am still waiting.

I am off to see the Dali Lama tomorrow in Santa Barbara tomorrow so expect a blog about that soon.

later gators.

42

Today Major League Baseball will honor the most important player in its history. Jackie Roosevelt Robinson. All players will waer the number 42 - which was retired in 1997 in perpetuity for every team in the majors. Above is a picture of the retired numbers at Boston's Fenway Park - including Jackie's 42

My Thanks to Amber...

Its Going to be a Long Week...

Monday - just finished up some work for judicial affairs and my final project for my program's seminar
Tuesday - travel to Cal Poly SLO for an interview
Wednesday - all day interview with SLO and drive back home
Thursday - work at SJACS and meet with other RC to deal with student staffing isues
Friday - SJACS and final prep for Saturday
Saturday - cousins birthday party, semi-formal dance that I am in charge of
Sunday - CATCH UP on everything I missed this week...

On a solid note the Dodgers are 1-0. at this rate they will go 162-0!!! Monday is also Opening Day at Dodger Stadium and I will be there to root on the boys in blue.

Hell Yea Circumcision!!!

A new study has found that circumcision helps to prevent men from contracting two STDs (the Herpes simplex type 2 virus and HPV). Circumcised men were 25 percent less likely to contract HSV 2 and 35 percent less likely to contract HPV which causes genital cancer. As a side not how great would the name genital cancer be for a punk rock band. So in conclusion: circumcision rocks!!!

Also I saw this video on MTVU today and I loved it. very weird but fun. enjoy.

Food, Food and How To Stay Thin...

So just when you thought that this country was struggling economically people come along to show us that we are still a thriving nation. And how do they do that you may ask? By turning food consumption into a competition.

In a time when people can barely keep there home or put food on the table a minor league baseball club in Michigan has introduced a 4,800 calorie hamburger. The burger has five meat patties, five slices of cheese, a cup of chili, salsa and chips served on an bun that is 8 inches in diameter. This four pound beast will run you about 20 dollars. Its so big that you can ask it to be cut with a pizza slicer so that you and your friends can share it. If you eat the burger in one sitting you win a "special t-shirt." Does the t-shirt read: "I ate a four pound burger and all i got was this crappy t-shirt and a blocked artery?"

Or if you happen to be around the Renaissance Hotel this Sunday from 1 - 4 p.m. you can drop 40 bucks to see the 2009 Los Angeles Cupcake Challenge. People who pay the 40 dollars can eat mini cupcakes (how freaking small must a mini-cupcake be?) representing the 34 competition entries.

Now what if you want to eat this but not gain weight. Well, you can head to UC Berkley where scientist think they have found the gene that turns carbs into fat. Mice who had the gene removed and ate a low-fat/high carb diets are 40% thinner than mice who had the same diet but still had the gene.

Twenty dollar four pound burger, cupcake contests and mice who can eat all they want and stay thin. What a world we live in.

Things A-Holes Say...

So i have been trying to keep track of things that a-holes say in conversation and for the next month or so I plan on rolling some of these beauties out. Our first installment of this series is...

"Listen, here is the deal..."

Has anyone ever said this and not sounded like a douche? Lets translate what the person means when they say this. The person says, "Listen here is the deal..." but what they mean to say is, "I know we have been having a conversation for the last hour but I am going totally ignore everything you've said during that time. Now I am going to tell you my opinion again, but this time I am going to talk to you like your a five year old."

Besides that the phrase sounds like an ultimatum is being given. Either you accept the following statement as fact or your a moron.

Here is the worst part about this phrase, you may not necessarily be an a-hole and yet you still might use it. For example, you are in a heated conversation or argument with someone while at dinner with friends. That someone is being stubborn, they frustrate you enough to turn you into a temporary a-hole and you end up dropping the dreaded, "here is the deal..." line. Now you look like a world class dick in front of everybody simply because you have let your emotions get the better of you.

WTF...

I just saw what I can only imagine to be a pudgy 14 or 15 year old latino kid with Sideshow Bob like hair at a Yoshinoya Beef Bowl wearing a Iron Maiden jacket and underneath a Nazi shirt. I stared and stared thinking, "Nah. No way." But no. The fucking shirt had a giant swastika on the the right chest, the face of Hitler over most of the left part of the shirt and then marching SS as kind of a faded backdrop. It was f'ing surreal. I am fucking confused. What the hell is going on in the world? Its at moments like this I wish I had a iPhone so I could have taken a picture of this nonsense and posted it.

p.s. Jorge and Taralee thanks for the comments. they were awesome.