You Know You Live In A Good Neighborhood When...

So last week I was at breakfast when I saw a family of 5. A husband and wife and their three children. The kids were loud and energetic as they are prone to do. They ran around the patio area loud and full of life. And I am sure that at 9 in the morning their energy was probably frustrating and annoying for most of the patrons out on the patio. Well, long story short as they were trying to herd there kids the parents decided that they needed to go get coffee and a bunch of other stuff. So they decided to go back into the coffee shop with two of them and just left one of them outside sitting by themselves.

All I kept thinking was, "you know you live in a good neighborhood when you can choose to be a negligent parent."

I mean seriously, this is the parenting equivalent of being able to leave your front door unlocked because you live in a neighborhood were you don't have to worry about break in thefts. How do you just leave your kid alone for three minutes on a patio while eating a bagel? It must be nice to not have to worry about these types of things. I remember one time my mom dropped my brother and I off at my grandparents for a sleep over. As we met my grandmother in the drive way a man covered in blood ran in front of us screaming unintelligibly. And I am not being over dramatic when I say he was covered in blood. The man's entire face and shirt was covered in blood. My grandmother and mom looked at each other, there was a pause, and then my mom said, "all right I will come by to pick them up in a couple of days." Ha!

Bad parenting is relative, or it can be anyway. In bad neighborhoods it is leaving your kids with relative while blood drenched people run around screaming. In a nice town like La Jolla, it's leaving our kids alone out side a bagel shop unattended.

By the way, the kid is clearly 5 or 6 and is already eating food that I didn't eat until I was 21. Unbelievable.

The Boss and The Fourth of the July...

I know I am a little late here, but I am going to put it out there anyway. People need to stop playing Born in the USA on the Fourth of July. Because of the upbeat rock tempo and the chorus people think that it's the perfect red, white and blue tune to mark our independence day. Clearly those folks have never payed attention to the lyrics. The song chronicles the life of a man forced to fight in Vietnam, his experiences during the war and the harsh realities he finds when he comes back home. Here are some sample lyrics...

Got in a little home town jam

So they put a rifle in my hand

Send me off to a foreign land

to go and kill the yellow man

did I mention he can't find a job when he get home:

Come back home to the refinery
Hiring man says "Son if it was up to me"
I go down to see the V.A. man
He said "Son don't you understand"

not depressed yet... how about this towards the end of the song:

Out in the Shadow of the penitentiary

out by the gas fires of the refinery

ten years down the road

nowhere to run to

ain't got nowhere to go

Now maybe it's just me but I wouldn't exactly be blaring this from my speakers while I am BBQing, waving the flag or holding a sparkler. Don't get me wrong I love the song and think it's an important reminder of that era and of the way we should treat our veterans when they return home. But there is a time and place for everything, and the Fourth of July isn't the right time for Born in the U.S.A. It's not like I am going to walk into VA Hospital anytime soon and show Born on the Fourth of July, so why would I play this song on the Fourth. By the way watch the trailer to see what Tom Cruise and Kyr Sedgwick looked like 21 years ago.

Anyway, to be fair to people confused about the song's meaning I got blame Bruce a bit for this. The video is fucking confusing. Having a video with kids going to proms and enjoying 5 year olds blowing out birthday cake candles and a father and child enjoying a carnival ride is going to send mixed messages. Link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPudiBR15mk

How Does This Make Any Sense...

So after watching the World Cup for the last two weeks I have come to a single conclusion. Watching players complain to referees during these games is the most puzzling thing in sports. In a game between Slovokia and the U.S. you have players getting in the face of officials from Italy and the Netherlands. While watching this all i can think is, "there's no way these people can understand each other right?" They might as well be playing pictionary or charades with one another. I am just saying.

I Travel Where the Terrorist Don't

I have made my summer travel arrangements! I will be headed to Toledo, Ohio and Raleigh, North Carolina. It may not sound like the most fun destinations when you compare it places like Chicago, Miami, New York, Boston, but it's got fun people that I care about and that's all that matters.
Here is the other upside. I am confident that my plane will not have terrorists on it. I feel a 100 percent confident that no terrorist has ever though/said: 'we need to hijack a plane. I know, let's hijack the one going to Toledo, Ohio.' My vacation destinations totally fly under the terrorists' radar. No pun intended. I don't think there are going to be any attacks on North Carolina anytime soon. By the way, if the terrorists really wanted to go after the infidels why wouldn't they attack the midwest and south. The south is populated by white, conservative christians and yet no attacks from muslim extremists. Instead they are constantly attacking large metropolitan areas filled with muslims, liberals, people of color, so on and so forth.

Anyway, good people, good times and no terrorists plots. Three ingredients for a perfect vacation. Well, that and these two characters:

Firsts...

This year (more specifically the last few months, has seen quite a number of "firsts" for me. For instance, it took me nearly 27 years for me to have my first grilled cheese sandwich. I gotta tell ya, it lived up to the hype. How could two pieces of bread and cheese taste so darn good. throw in a couple of chicken strips on the side and you have a meal fit for a five year old. Just two weeks ago I had another dining related first. My first trip to the Olive Garden. I couldn't believe the looks of shock and disgust I have gotten from my friends when I told them I had never been to Olive Garden. It was OK. Nothing to write home about (but worthy of an honorable mention here on the blog).

Which brings me to some other first. Six years ago I went on my first airplane trip. LA > SAC. I was definitely nervous. the thought of being a 21 year old with no traveling experience getting inside a metal and plastic tube and being hurdled through the year was enough to make me uneasy. But I served. During my stay in Sacramento I experienced another first. My first bagel. Yup I was 21 when I had my first bagel. A lot of people don;t believe me when I say this or they are incredulous with their response but you can't blame me. I come from a mexican family. We don't eat bagels. We have pan dulce or tortillas with everything. By the way we also have rice with just about every damn meal. We don;t need to introduce any more carbs into our diet.

I am usually "late to the dance" when it comes to doing things. For example, I was 21 when I got my drivers license.

Well, a week after turning 27 its fun to think of what other "delayed" firsts are headed my way.

Krispy Kreme

Last week I went to Krispy Kreme and picked up 15 dozes donuts (don't ask). However, I have noticed something about going to Krispy Kreme. Nobody is happy to work there. It's the strangest thing in the world. You have all these beautiful pastries. It smells like a dream. Everyone is in white. And yet, when you look at the employees they are just dead behind the eyes. Thy look like they want to put their head in that little oven conveyor belt thing. Everyone looks like they are indentured servants. I just imagine them sleeping in the store and never being allowed to leave. I'm not kidding. Whenever I walk in there I feel like I should refer my cashier to the suicide help hotline.
I have only seen Krispy Kreme employees happy ONCE! I was ordering 20 dozen donuts and a FORMER employee came in. I got completely ignored midway through my order and everyone came from behind the counter and mobbed this woman. The smiles on their faces were from ear to ear. I can't even do the smiles justice. They were giddy. It was the kind of giddiness that little kids get on Christmas morning. They went up to her and hugged her, kissed her on the cheek and just chatted it up while I just stood there watching. They looked at her as if to say, "oh my God, how did you escape. Why are you risking it by coming back her. But while you are here tell us how you managed to get out of here! Quick! The person keeping us here went out for a smoke..."

Things I Didn't Think I'd Hear and One Hit Wonders...

I have a new running theme that I look forward to each day. I wait to hear the most absurd comment that there is no way I could have guessed I would have heard when I woke up that morning. For example, yesterdays winner:

"I don't kid around when it comes to hand jobs." There is no way I could have guessed anyone would have told me that yesterday and that it would have made perfect sense. I am going to try to keep track of these and share them as good ones come along.

Also yesterday I was driving in my car and I heard the song Crush by Jennifer Paige. First thoughts, "holy crap. It has been YEARS since I have heard this song." I felt like I was in some kind of weird time machine. The only question was, how far back in time did I travel. Well crush came out in 1998 which puts me at the ripe old age of 15. Listening to this song also made me think, are there anymore One Hit Wonders? I feel like if you have one hit song now you are guaranteed at least one more because radio stations or MTV will just shove the music and the artist it down your throat. There is no way Jennifer Paige is just a one hit wonder if she comes out in 2007 or 2008. She has at least another hit and then a moderate hit on a second album right. Maybe she gets hooked up with rapper and parlays that into a fourth top 40 song. I'm just saying - is she any worse than the other pop acts we have now? No - but some how these people hang around like a bad case of herpes.

It's incredible to me that in an age were music is so disposable the artist aren't. Pop artist just keep hanging around and hanging around and hanging around. Ms. Paige you were just a few years too soon or you could have had a career spanning atleast a couple of years.